I just had an exciting weekend!
I had my very first ART Show! It is simple step out in Art world, but it was HUGE for me personally as my personal growth.
The event was called “Chocolate and Art Show” held just outside of China town, LA at KGB Studio.
I had never taken my art pieces outside of my home, I had never shown my art works outside of my close friends and family. So what a tickling experience to see many people stare at my wood panels closely and talking about it. I saw many people took my cards,(it has my panel images printed on it, so card itself is small piece of my art ;)), many people took their time just looking all over my panels, many people taking photographs with their phones and many people came talked to me and being amazed how different and beautiful my work was.
I am soooooo grateful.
I stepped into public as an Artist this weekend and I feel confident and I feel so right about where I am.
It is huge deal to me and major life experience.
Because… I had so much struggle and fights until I came to this point that no one knows.
There are so many people struggling trying to find what they can do to be successful? What they love to do? What kind of jobs or work they can do for their career and they can truly enjoy it.
This is always a major problem and stress for so many people. and for me as well. I am sure some of you who are reading this went through, or going through it now. I know how stressful it is, I know how serious it is in your life, I have been there, and I was there for LONG TIME and yes, I cried for being lost and I just felt so horrible. But I did not give up keep looking no matter how people was not interested in what I was doing. I kept looking and trying. Years passed, still not found one yet. I’ve tried being Manicurist, got licence, but first day at work, I HATED it. I was stupid enough to think of only beautiful design of nails part that I love, but reality was different. (but I wouldn’t know if I didn’t try it. So I do not regret of my effort.) I was working at the restaurant just to pay my bills for long time. Working at restaurant was actually so much fun, but I never feel right working as server. But pay was better than most of regular jobs and I continued to working there because I had make living and take care of my son as a single mother.
It was so hard to look for my life time career that I can truly love as being single mother. Because my son was my focus and priority and it restricted me from trying new things and jumping out to risk our lives to do things. I always had to make sure I will be there for him and I will continue to bring money home so my son’s life is taken care of. If I was a college student without child, I probably would have done so much challenge and just jumping into the new world, but things are funny, when I was a college student, my focus was not building my career, it was more trying to make my life set in America.(I am immigrant from Japan) Also, too young to recognize how important it is to have career you LOVE. I was typical international college kid who was just focusing living in America and learn culture and languages. But after I had my son and went through divorce and grow older, it is different story. I hit the reality, I had to take care of my son as single mother and can I work at the restaurant rest of my life!? NO! and… especially around the age getting closer to 30 years old, all of the sudden, I felt horrible that I am grown up age and still don’t have any career I can proud of. Until that point, I put all my time and energy into raising my little son and taking care of my husband and home. I was devoted housewife but I was not being myself. I killed my identity and I became a Housewife. I really had nothing but Art as my hobby and my son, working at the restaurant. It was very high end restaurant I was working at, so I learn so many great things but at the end of the day, serving job was not the job I want to do in my life. For 5-6 years I was in this journey of “finding myself”.
Going through problems, this 5-6 years is long time. I broke down so many times. I was lost but did not give up. I had my nature I love, I go out to the nature talk to them. They taught me, showed me so much about my life. They helped me to stand where I am today, They helpled me to find my goals and love.
So you, if you are going through this kind of problem, do not give up. Keep seeking. But do not force yourself to do something. Just keep your mind open and do your best to be sensitive to how you feel and what you like. Listen to your heart and follow with energy. Because it WILL come at the right time. In mean time, everything you go through and experience, it is not waste, everything you do in your life has positive affect in your life and you need that experience to learn the lesson, gain knowledge and wisdom.
How my case was…
I knew, I always love art, being creative and make something. I knew, since I was kindergarten, my mother was proud of me because my drawing was outstanding naturally and so many other parents were impressed of my talent. BUT once I grow up being adult age, no one encouraged me to be an Artist. Instead, people tell me “Oh It is just too hard to make money being a freelance artist.” “Oh Painter? How can you make living?” “Art should be just a hobby. It is not a actual job”. And my family and people surrounded me suggesting me to be an Art teacher, hired comic artist, hired artist for some companies, work at galleries… so on but nothing was my interest and nothing was really creative “my way” to me.
Also, even though I always loved being creative, somehow, I could not find my “Style” that I can feel so right with.
I painted oil, acrylic, water, I tried cartoon art, I draw using pen, charcoal and different medias, I tried sculpting with clay, I did digital art…
I could not find “MY Style” art. I did not feel right with none of the media I tried. I had good time working with any art, but I did not feel “This is it!!!”. A couple years ago, some how, all of the sudden, I don’t remember how this idea pop out in my mind, and it was just a right timing. It was toward the end of my stressful struggling life term of searching of my goals and what I love. I knew I had the special talent to draw.
Before: I had artistic talent, but it cannot be a job or I cannot make money being freelance.
NOW: I have artistic talent and I know, I will be very successful if I put all my passion and “Myself” into my art.
How my view was changed all of the sudden? I met a right person. My boyfriend was a freelance photographer but he was very successful for what he does. He was very professional, he was amazing at what he does, he loves what he does and he was very confident. He is a freelance artist who is very successful, I had never met artist like him and he inspired me and encourage me for the unlimited possibilities for being artist.
About the time I was determined to walk as an artist myself finally after years of struggle, from somewhere, I had wood and beautiful burned color of wood in my mind and I so wanted to try to work this media. I have never tried before and I did not know how this style of art called. I didn’t even know what kind of tool I use of What was the process of this kind of art style. Once I searched, I found out, it is called “Pyrography”.
I did not stop, I got cheap tool (I could not afford to buy expensive one especially when I had never tried it and not sure if I would love it), and got some small size wood and started working. and I LOVED it. There must be a reason why this art technique pop out in my mind all of the sudden at such a right time. It must be true universal energy force(or you can call it God) that gives me this idea. I always love nature and woods, rocks…. and this art style is ME, and I created my style of Pyrography, and became today’s my “Earth Goddess” collection.
It is beautiful, peaceful, graceful, earthy, spiritual, soothing, calming, and healing.
I feel so right and so happy to be where I am today. Nothing changed, just myself changed. I found myself. I did not give up. I kept looking and trying. and I know now, for sure, I will do very well with what I do. Nothing is promised, but I just know. I am doing the right thing for my life.
Please do not discourage because of what other people say. Always stay strong with your passion and keep trying and going.
Right thing will come just at the right timing. Everything happens in life is for reasons. Nothing is the waste. It always take some positive role in your life and we need that struggle time in our lives to grow.
Love yourself, and believe in yourself. Be yourself and always try your best to listen to your heart.