Have you had experience feeling weird or down thinking of how other people seem to be blessed to have great things and you are not? Have you felt like you are the victim of life?
I have been on my spiritual awakening path for past six years. As I am going this journey of spiritual awakening, I notice a lot of things I was doing or I am doing. Time to time, I realize myself being negative and I meditate to correct the source of it. I do not just release stress doing some fun things. I correct source of problem that lays inside of myself.
I say “Do not compare yourself with others”. When you pay close attention to it, so many people do it all the time without knowing and make themselves feel bad, start hating others, or make other side of people feel bad. That always causes trouble. There is two different ways of people’s action regarding comparing with others. One is making themself feel miserable and the other is making others feel disrespected. Some may be both.
For example, first one’s case, It starts from childhood. I see my son ( 9 years old), he saw his friend had Ipad and the cell phone. He told me he wants them too and asked, if his friend can have them, why he can’t have them. He is comparing himself with his friends and making himself feels like he is less than his friend because he does not have Ipad or cell phone. When… He has so many amazing things in his life he has so much that his friend does not have. It always balances some way. We are all equal. He become blind of other amazing things he has and he started only focusing on comparing himself with his friends negative way.
In common adult’s case, some people may admire others for having amazing talents, some may envy others for the beautiful appearance, I have heard someone say “I wish my parents were rich like his parents. He was born rich and he has everything. He never has to struggle financially.” and it can go on and on and on… People tend to compare themselves with others and feel bad or miserable.
Second one’s case, Many people use this comparing habit as the tool to be the victim of the life. For example, saying… “Oh it must be nice that you have a great job and great pay, My paycheck is not good and I cannot do things i want to. Oh how nice, your life must be fun and exciting, mine is not. I have so much stress and struggle.” Now, this do not make the other person good. and actually, it is very disrespecting because this person who is saying this, do not know everything about the other person and talking like this person’s life is nothing but fun and exciting when it may not be really true.
or I have my friend said “Oh She always meet good men and I have no luck on finding a good man. I always get wrong men and end up being hurt. She is lucky.” I feel, it is not about “Luck” about the finding the good man. It is about what you really want and how you find them. She should not compare herself with her friend by simply using “Luck”.
I had someone told me something similar. when we were talking about divorce, “Oh you are lucky you and your ex-husband is doing great as friend. My divorce was very bad and I went through much more hardship than you did and still bad now.” I felt like this person was easy looking hardship I went through. Because of my spiritual understanding, I did not get angry at this person, but I had to let this person know not to compare that way. This person does not know how much effort I made to come to this point. That effort was extremely hard and I was in enormous pain everyday for years but I went through it and only vision I had as goal was to establish great new family friendship with my ex-husband for our son. The best for our son was to be in marriage however when I realize it was impossible to keep that way, next best thing for our son is to be able to have both of his parents close to him and show him that we all care and love each other and we are family, and we all love him, we are all there for him. and I made it happen after years of trying and struggling. Stress killed me then, but it made me open the door to amazing spiritual journey. Now I am thankful for that hardship. Because of that hardship, I am where I am now.
I felt very funny when someone easily said “Oh you are lucky, my experience was harder than you.” I would never tell anyone “My experience was harder than yours” nor “You are lucky”. Because I know behind every story, there are so much more than I know. I will not under-estimate what the person go through on this person’s face.
We are all equally given some good things and hard things.
In our lives, we all go through hardship. Not matter how it seems at a moment, through out our life, everyone is given equal good and hard.
Also, important fact about this hardship is…
Hardship is NOT the negative experience.
It is amazing experience that holds the key to make your life better. I almost can say… without hardship, your life will progress slow. But with hardship, your life will fly to have much better life as long as you are able to get the correct message from the hardship. So you should not be upset going through hardship. Use it as the tool to make your life amazing. If you simply take it as negative and be the victim of life, you will never gain amazing wisdom to make your life better.
The more hardship you go through, the more your life become rich.
It is up to you.
You have to believe and activate your ability to gain wisdom through hardship.
So do not use your energy and precious time on comparing yourself with others, use them to gain wisdom to make your life better and enjoy the journey of amazing life.